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Sunday, April 26

Sunday Service

Eight o'clock Sunday morning kids up, dressed and ready for church. The family huddles for the morning hug. Once done dad yells, "BREAK!" as they sprint to the van. Baby in the back, teens in the middle, mom and dad sitting front and center. Dad storms off to church as mom screeches, "What beautiful children, we have my dear!".

Thirty minutes later they arrive. Worried they were going to be late for the special ceremony, dad smiled at the children and said, "Wait here for mommy and me, we will be right back."

Exiting the van, hand in hand, they make their way to the church. Upon entering, mom glances back, waves, and then close the doors behind her. Turning towards the altar, she draws the shotgun out from under her skirt. As she waits anxiously, dad continues forward. He steals the money from the offering plates, shoving it into his pockets. Before the reverend finished the prayer, dad tabulated the earnings and yelled, "What a blessing the Lord has presented this day!"

Frighten by the yell, a baby awakens screaming in terror. Immediately, the clergymen spring to their feet, noticing offering plates scattered upon the floor, and a man dressed like a priest running down the center aisle towards the door. Not grasping what has happened, they yell, "Stop! Call the police, we have a thief in the house of God!"

Before another word was expired, mom fired, blasting Jesus and the crucifix. Dad plummeted to the floor as he watched in horror as the cross decapitated the preacher. In that instance, they knew arrest was inevitable. They would be incarcerated; taken to the midlands for execution.

This idea, they were not entertaining.

Into the van, without a sound, dad rushed off. With the accelerator pinned, he drove like an asshat on crack. Two red lights, then four, hitting ninety miles an hour, blowing by the cops, the pursuit was on. Dad screamed, "Good Lord, were through!" Heading for the freeway, he accelerated to evade the cops. Veering in and out of traffic he smashed everything in sight. He thought for sure this would stop them. But not this time, the police closed in, they were determined.

Knowing it was only a matter of seconds before they were apprehended, he laughed sadistically as he looked to his children, and then his wife, screaming, "They're not taking us alive."

Sunday Service by K. Saitta © 2015, A Walk In Verse